In Imago Relationship Therapy, exits are ways in which we avoid closeness with our partner; affairs are one of many activities that can be described as an exit.
When communication feels difficult or impossible, we may act out our dissatisfactions within our relationships, through exits, instead of discussing them. Whilst an affair or divorce are obvious exits, there are many less obvious ones such as:
Binging on TV
Working long hours - by choice
Non-negotiable trips to the gym
On the surface, these activities seems harmless; we all need to unwind, and necessary; we all need an income, and children need their parents. Imago Therapy helps you to identify your intentions. When engaging in activities that seem to take you away from your relationship, what is really happening? Are you trying to find the pleasure that is missing from your marriage? Could the activity be a welcome distraction from difficulties at home?
Ultimately, exits undermine our relationships by eroding the intimacy between ourselves and our partner. Part of the work of the Imago therapist, is to help you to identify and close your exits and re-commit to building a safe, intimate connection.
Perhaps the ways in which you and your partner have avoided closeness, have left you feeling wounded, or guilty - there is hope.
If you are ready to rebuild your love relationship, and you want some help, get in touch.